Deserted Emotions
by licorice179
Summary: some letters of past regrets. (I suck at summaries...just read them. also, some swearing and sexual references are used) COMPLETED! please, R&R!
1. Letter 1

Deserted Emotions  
  
Hey y'all! This is a letterfic. And, obviously, it's a letter. I've done a lot of fanfics (all of which are not yet completed, but I'm working on them still). Thought I'd try something different. Well, here goes nothing.  
  
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I know not what I think, but only what I feel. At least, what I used to feel. Sometimes, I forget who I am. I'll always know my name and birth date and everything like that, but I can't quite remember that I was a child. A child who was known only as a pretty face. A child who was happy and always smiling.  
  
Now when I see pictures of myself as I am now, I never see a smile. I see an expression of pain and sorrow. But no one else notices my pain and sorrow, because to me, I don't feel sorrow or pain. I'm so use to these emotions that they slip through me unnoticed.  
  
When I see pictures of me as a child, I see happiness flowing through that little girls veins. I see someone who does not have a care in the world, only dreams. Dreams that are beautiful and full of hope and desire. When I was her age, my dreams seemed real, as if I could touch them and hold them close to my heart.  
  
But now I have no dreams. My dreams shattered in front of me. I don't remember when or what caused the to shatter, I just remember scrambling to collect the shards of my once beautiful dreams. When my dreams shattered, so did I. I lost all sense of being. All the comforts of love and friendship. I was alone. When I look into my mirror, I see black holes behind my eyes. Black hole that have destroyed my soul.  
  
But now the time has come for me to destroy these black holes which consume me.  
  
I know that I shall never see anyone again. My time has come. The petals of my rose have fallen, scattering themselves on the ground.  
  
Good Bye.  
  
Naomi F. 


	2. Letter 2

Deserted Emotions  
  
Hmmm...I got bored one day and decide to write some more letters. And yes, they're all gonna be depressing...for the most part. I'm gonna do one for all the main characters. Well, here's another letter!  
  
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When I saw here, she took my breath away. I guess one could say that I've always had a crush on her. I would scour magazines searching for articles in the hopes of learning something new about her. Where she came from. What her childhood was like. What her dreams were. Stuff like that. But every time, I came out empty handed. But there's no hope for me now. She's most likely dating him.  
  
He was like a brother to me. Sure, I have plenty of brothers, but what's one more? The thought of those two together sends chills down my spine. Why wouldn't they be together? After all, they lived together. Alone. Just the two of them. Who knows what they did at the base where they lived. It scares me. Everything about her scares me. But then again, I have saved her life. Even if I only did it once.  
  
But it was great, having her body against mine. When I saved her, it felt awkward having her body against mine. But that feeling was nothing compared what I was feeling now  
  
That was an amazing night though...  
  
Now that I think about it, I think I'm in love. I'm in love with a girl. I never thought that I, Bradley Aaron Hunter, would fall in love with a girl. A girl who does not know I exist...I think I finally understand unrequited love. Its love, but it hurts. When I think about her, my heart aches. It hurts so much it feels as if it's about to explode. I love her...but the question is...does she love me?  
  
Brad H. 


	3. Letter 3

Deserted Emotions  
  
Got bored again...not really though. Just need to take my mind off of school and all the problems that go with school. Anyway, this letter is from...well, you'll find out for yourself. Don't want to give away the ending now...anyways, enough talk.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sometimes I get so depressed thinking about her, that I start devising plans of suicide in my head. I try to stop them, but they always come back, stronger then they were before.  
  
She's a goddess and doesn't even realize it. It's as if she doesn't see how guys worship her and the ground she walks upon. My friends think I'm lucky to live with her, but they don't know the truth. I've been lucky enough to be able to admire her, but I don't have the privilege of talking with her. She shields herself against the world. She lets no one come close to her heart. But she has a good reason.  
  
As a child, she grew up in a place where men dominated. Women had no voice in the world. A woman's purpose was to marry, satisfy her husbands need for pleasure and bear her husband sons. But she had someone to protect her. Her savior was her mother. Her mother protected her from the cruelness of men. Her mother hoped to find her daughter a suitable husband who would take her away from her suffering and make her happy. But one day, her mother died, leaving her daughter in the cruel hands of her husband.  
  
Her father decided that his daughter would marry a wealthy businessmen. The man was sixty three, while she was eleven. The marriage took place soon after the mothers' death. After her marriage, what little freedom she had perished. But one day, hope returned. A man had heard of the young beauty whose life was miserable. He felt so sorry for her that he stopped by the mansion where she resided. He snuck onto the grounds and found his way to her room. There, he took her in his arms, and ran away. The man who saved her was her mothers' brother. Eventually, her uncle persuaded her husband to divorce her. After that incident, she kept to herself, letting no man get close to her heart.  
  
Despite her ways, I love her. It might be wrong, but I don't care. But I have no chances with her. I believe she is in love with someone else. Someone who admires her more than I do. Even though the two of us can never be, I wish her happiness with him. I know he will love her more than I ever could. I also know that he will make her very happy, and that they will live happily ever after. Their lives will be a fairy tale. Minus all the evil witches and demons of course.  
  
I just wish that I could confess my feelings for her.  
  
I want to say, "I love you" to her.  
  
But I never will. To love and not be loved in return is the cruelest fate. But I also have a 'secret' admirer. We've talked...well, sort of. More like seduced one another. Anyways, she's waiting for me in my bed...cant keep her waiting.  
  
Leon. T 


	4. Letter 4

Deserted Emotions  
  
I'm writing another letter. I told myself that I would stop at 3, but at the moment I have a total of 6. Instead of letting the new 3 sit around my room, I decide to post them instead. Well, hope you enjoy them. They should all be up by tomorrow. Here's letter #4!  
  
I love her, I love her, I LOVE HER!!  
  
Who do I love? Her of course. The fiery red head who stole my heart the moment I saw her. Sure, she beats me up a lot, but I still love her. Even though she nearly kills me whenever I eat a cookie.  
  
I know it's wrong to steal the cookies she bakes, but it's the only way I can get her attention without violating her privacy. Not to mention that the cookies she bakes are delicious.  
  
But I must admit, my favorite thing to do is to 'accidentally' walk in on her while she's taking a shower. Seeing her wet like that makes her look so god damn sexy. The curves of her body are irresistible. But I must also admit that Naomi's body is much nicer than hers. I wonder what Naomi looks like naked...Leon probably knows. Then again, maybe he doesn't.  
  
I really, REALLY want to ask her out, but I'm afraid she'll think it's all a joke and get angry with me and get offended. I HATE UNREQUITED LOVE!!! It's the worst. I wonder if anyone else I know feels the same way as I do? Not about her of course, but about someone else.  
  
I can't get her out of my head. When I sleep, I dream about her. I love her. But does she love me too?  
  
Bit C. 


	5. Letter 5

Deserted Emotions  
  
Yay! Another letter. I've decide to do one for each main character. Well, most of the main characters. In total, there will be 9 letters. I have 6 completed. Well, here's letter #5!  
  
He drives me crazy! Not crazy crazy, but love crazy! I can't believe that I, the most beautiful girl in the world, have fallen in love with him. Him being a mean, rude, thieving, perverted, cocky as hell zoid pilot.  
  
But at the same time, he's cute, sweet and innocent. When he's sleeping, he looks like an angel. Almost every night I walk into his room and sit on the edge of his bed, watching him sleep. It's an obsession of mine. Don't ask me why I do it, because I don't know why myself.  
  
I want to ask him out, but I don't know how. I've been meaning to ask Brad for help, but I'm to shy to ask. After all, he might tease me about it.  
  
I've never told anybody this before, but I used to have a crush on Brad. When he first joined the team, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. That was a long time ago. Back then, he was about two feet shorter and had short hair. Brad joined the team when I was 13. That was 6 years ago!  
  
I was surprised when dad told me that Brad asked to join our team despite all the offers he had received. I'm glad he joined our team. He's an amazing zoid pilot. Once he was ranked as the #2 pilot. And he was only 15! That was his first year on the team, too.  
  
To this day, I still have a crush on Brad. That's what sparked the feud between me and Naomi. I thought that she was going to steal Brad away from me. But I'm over that now. Anyways, enough about Brad.  
  
When he came to us, he was just a junk dealer who tripped my brother and his shield liger. Later that night, we caught him sneaking around the base. Nowadays he's a kick ass zoid pilot that got us into Class S. and I love him. Not because he's a kick ass zoid pilot, but because of who he is.  
  
I love him because he's himself.  
  
Leena T. 


	6. Letter 6

Deserted Emotions  
  
I just realized that I haven't done a disclaimer for any of my letters. Oops. Nit like anyone here thinks I own zoids. Anyways, here's letter #6  
  
Disclaimer: I'm only saying this once so listen up. I do not own zoids or its characters!  
  
I never thought that I would fall in love. I always thought that my sister would be the lucky one. Instead, I've fallen head over heels in love with him. He's cute, smart and a good pilot. One of the best I've seen. He's also quiet. He's almost the exact opposite of his sister.  
  
We first met face to face at a zoids promotion part. I first saw him while he was signing autographs for young children. Of course, she was by his side.  
  
I always thought that the two of them were dating, but now I know better. But he and I are dating. Well, were not just 'dating'. We've taken our relationship to the next level, if you catch my drift. If you don't, let's just say I lost my v-card and he's the one who took it from me.  
  
It's not like I'm a slut or anything. He's the only guy I've slept with. All the rumors saying that I do threesomes with my sister and Jack are untrue. Talk about disgusting! Jacks cute and all, but he's not my type. But he's my sisters' type. I've always thought that my sister and jack would make a good couple. I mean, the way they fight with each other make them look like a married couple. I think that they should get married. They'd have cute children together. ! I can just see it now...  
  
Jack running around and chasing the kids while me and my sister sit in the garden having lunch and catching up on things and remembering the good times...  
  
That would be the perfect life. Of course, I'd be married to him and we'd have children of our own. I can see it now...  
  
I can't believe what I'm thinking! I never meant to fall in love, I just...did. I don't know how it happened. All I know is I love him.  
  
I love him!  
  
And he loves me.  
  
I still can't believe I fell in love with him.  
  
Chris T. 


	7. Letter 7

Deserted Emotions  
  
Hey y'all! I'm so close to finishing up this letterfic I can taste the excitement. Well, without further a due, here's letter #7!  
  
I don't know what it is about her, but she's amazing. She's beautiful, smart and a good lover. Ok, that last part is untrue. I've never slept with her in my life. In fact, I've never slept with anybody. Even if I tried to sleep with her, her sister would cut me off so I could never sleep with her again. Despite the threats from her sister, I still want to be her boyfriend.  
  
Unfortunately, I have to clear it with her sister first. I would talk to her sister, but I'm afraid of what would happen to me. I know I'm supposed to be a big, tough guy, but her sister scares the shit out of me. Anyone who says that her sister is not scary hasn't seen her sister angry before. I cringe at the thought of it.  
  
I think I fell in love with her when I joined the team she was on. We were sitting around a campfire, talking. I can't remember what we were talking about because I was to busy looking at her. Her voice was soothing and her eyes were a deep chocolate. She was beautiful.  
  
The closest I've gotten to her was when she and I were alone while her sister went off somewhere. To this day I still don't know where her sister went that day. So, she and I were sitting alone at the base when she asked me about my family. I was caught off guard with the question, so didn't say anything in response. She apologized for asking such a personal question, but I told her it was okay. That's how everything started. We started talking about our families and our pasts. We talked into the early hours of the next morning.  
  
Eventually, she got tired and fell asleep on my shoulder. I tried to pick her up and carry her to her room, but she started to stir when I walked past my room. Not wanting her to wake up, I entered my room and laid her on my bed. Despite my efforts, she woke up. Instead of complaining, she grabbed my hand and asked me to stay with her. She asked me to lay by her side and sleep next to her. I happily obliged. I laid down next to her when she turned towards me. I heard her say my name so I turned on my side and faced her. Before I could ask her what she wanted, she had leaned her head against my chest and grabbed a hold of my shirt. I thought I heard her crying, so I comfortingly wrapped my arms around her. I heard her fall asleep shortly after. I cold feel myself falling asleep, so I surrendered. When I woke up later that afternoon, she was still sleeping in my arms. I was afraid that her sister would soon find us, so I got up and walked around the base. I saw no trace of her sister so I went back to my room. I laid down next to her and wrapped my arms around her until she woke up. The two of us blushed a deep red. Neither of us mentioned the incident after that happened. To this day, not a night goes by when I don't think of that moment of heaven. Why? Because I love her.  
  
And I hope she loves me.  
  
Jack S. 


	8. Letter 8

Deserted Emotions  
  
After this letter, only one more left! I'm so excited. At the same time, I'm kind of sad. I hate ending my fics. It's so depressing. But a writer has to do what a writer has to do. Anyways, here's letter #8!  
  
You know all those love movies where the couple overcomes all obstacles and fall in love. I never believed that anything done in those movies could happen in real life. But I was wrong. Dead wrong.  
  
I remember the day I fell in love with him. Him being the coolest, hottest, most amazing pilot in the world. Well, at least that's what I though. He beats Bit Cloud hands down. Let me see...  
  
That day was unlike any other. My sister had left for the day. It was just me and him sitting next to each other on the couch. I had always been curious as to what had happened to him before he joined the team. I was particularly interested in his family. So I asked him about his family. I thought I had offended him when he didn't respond, but I was relieved when he told me that I had caught him off guard  
  
The two of us sat side by sided telling each other about our past, our families, and our dreams. We talked together until day faded to night and night turned to dawn. I must've fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew I was in his room on his bed.  
  
Without thinking, I begged him to stay with me and sleep beside me. He obliged. I was surprised when he laid down next to me, my hand in his. I turned towards him and accidentally whispered his name. He must have heard me because he turned towards me.  
  
Without thinking I grabbed a hold of his shirt and leaned my head against his chest. Without meaning to, I started crying. I couldn't stop. I wasn't sad, I was extremely happy.  
  
I cried softly, not wanting him to hear me. But, once again, he must've heard me because he wrapped his arms around me. I must've fallen asleep again, because the next thing I remember was lying next to him in the same position as before. The only difference was that I could see sunlight penetrating the curtains over his window.  
  
The first thing that crossed my mind was my sister. If she saw us like this, she would have killed him. He must have sensed my uneasiness because he told me that my sister wasn't home yet. We were about to kiss when we heard the front door open. Needless to say, I ran to my room and changed while he also changed.  
  
To this day, neither of us have mentioned that night. But not a night passes when I don't think about it. I don't know why I remember that night exactly, but I think it's because I'm in love with him  
  
I just pray that he loves me too.  
  
Kelly T. 


	9. Letter 9

YAY!!! LETTER #9!! starts dancing I'm so happy! I've finished this fic! Yep, this is the last and final letter! Well, here's letter #9!  
  
When it comes to love, I'm clueless. I've never been in love. I've never been kissed. Heck, I've never had a girlfriend.  
  
Not that I mind though. Judging by what I've seen of love, it's not all that people say it is. It's nothing but a lot of pain. Both physically and psychologically.  
  
The only people that I see often that are in love are Bit and Leena. Those two have an interesting relationship. You see, Bit steals the cookies that Leena bakes. As a result, Leena yells at him and chases him around the base with a frying pan.  
  
Other times, bit accidentally walks in on her while she's taking a shower. Once when that happened, Leena threw the bathtub at him. After that, bit ran into the hanger and drove off in the jeep. Leena, seeking revenge, got into my beloved Pteras and chased after him. She fired all the ammo and hit the jeep head on. Surprisingly, the jeep remained in perfect shape. Bit on the other hand was in the medical bay for weeks.  
  
I don't know about other people, but I do not want to be in a relationship like Bit and Leenas'.  
  
I still don't know why they aren't dating yet. From what Doc and my dad say, they act like a married couple. Now that's saying something.  
  
Another couple I know is Leon and Chris. Those two have been dating for awhile. They've done everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. Yep, including sex shivers. That word sends chills down my spine. Call me old fashioned, but I think that THAT should be saved for after the wedding.  
  
Another love sick puppy I know is brad. Yes, Brad Whateverhismiddlenameis Hunter is a love sick puppy. He won't admit it but he has the hots for Naomi. And I mean the hots. It's almost obsessive. But don't tell anyone. It's supposed to be a secret. I only know because I talked with him about her one morning before he had his first morning cup of coffee. I think I'm the only person who has ever seen Brad before his morning routine of drinking coffee.  
  
One day in the near future, Brad and Naomi will get married, settle down, have kids and grow old. It's their destiny. I know it is. They're perfect for each other.  
  
Come to think of it, Brad and Naomi are probably the most loving couple that will ever exist. If I ignore Bit and Leenas' current relationship, love sounds pretty good.  
  
Now I want to fall in love. Well, I think I'm going to go bug Brad about his crush on Naomi.  
  
Jaime H. 


End file.
